wanna know what i got for my birthday today? hmm....lets see. i got constipated for 6-7 days, got a doctors hand shoved up my ass, got my moms hand shoved up my ass (including a little supository....WHICH DIDNT WORK) and then about 5 hours later guess what? ANOTHER FUCKING HAND SHOVED UP MY ASS!oh and then it decided to work. and i thought that was A GOOD THING. so about three hours and five forced bowel-movements later i look down and theres about 5 ounces of vaseline in the toilet around 15 pounds worth of brown green yellow and god-knows-what-other-colored shit. then right when i think im done i get up wipe off the shit (and blood according to the color) and then when im finally done. i get to finally come downstairs and play with my friends lone-behold i have another random bowl movement. and luckily to my surprise its just liquified supository remains and not shit. so i pretty much smell like shit and blood right now and its about 8 o clock i have 4 hours left to my day so i pretty much just want to say one thing....THIS WAS THE WORST FUCKING BIRTHDAY IVE EVER HAD.

(i feel violated.)